Stop Performing: A series of vignettes

My devotional time this week has been spent with the third chapter of a posthumously compiled collection of essays by Henri Nouwen. In it, Henri writes, “...though the experience of being the Beloved has never been complete absent from my life, I was slow in claiming it as my core truth. I kept running around it while looking for someone or something able to convince me of my Belovedness. It was as if I kept refusing to hear the voice that speaks from the very depth of my being and says: ‘You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests.’” (Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith, 31) 

Amen, Henri. You’re not the only one.

Why I, as a Christian, Support Gay Marriage

I'm posting here a response to a friend's question on facebook. The friend asked why I support gay marriage. My theological reading of this matter does not represent anyone else but me. I may have several things wrong here. I freely admit that. I may also misrepresent myself or others. Please read this post about this very sensitive matter with grace, with careful attention and with the realization that I'm writing this late at night after a long day with a baby who is teething :D.

The Gift of Not Being Needed

It's been ages since I last posted here. Much has changed. I'm now halfway through my final semester of PhD coursework at Princeton Theological Seminary. My wife and I now daily step back in awe that we are parents of a beautiful, vibrant baby girl. I'm twenty-eight years old.

Image from Greg High:
www.greghigh.com

Somehow, in those twenty-eight years, I had not yet come to the fundamental insight that my "worth is not the same as [my] usefulness." I found this quote this morning during daily devotion. I've been reading Henri Nouwen's lenten collection Show Me the Way. Nouwen has always been one of those writers whose words cut through all my defensive barriers. Yet his is a gentle sword. His words are so simple, his thoughts so concrete and clear. He writes without pretension and, in doing so, plumbs the profound depths of our relationship to God and our relationships with others.

I can't help quoting most of this morning's reading:

When we start being too impressed by the results of our work, we slowly come to the erroneous conviction that life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth. And before we are fully aware of it, we have sold our soul to the many gradegivers. That means we are not only in the world, but also of the world. Then we become what the world makes us. We are intelligent because someone gives us a high grade. We are helpful because someone says thanks. We are likable because someone likes us. And we are important because someone considers us indispensable.... (52)