The Way of Love

1500 years ago, Christians began to celebrate the life of a priest. This priest had died as a martyr, that is, a witness to Christ. He had died sometime in the 300s CE.

Many stories were told about this saint. Some said he married Christian women and men in secret, in the days when it wasn't popular to follow Christ. Others claimed that he healed a blind girl, with whom he later exchanged letters. Still others recount that his martyrdom came about because he tried to convince Emperor Claudius II to follow Christ. Claudius, furious over what he considered an exploitation of their burgeoning friendship, had this priest beaten with clubs and stoned outside of Rome. 

LENT 2016 - TEACHING COMMUNITY - Preface

This post is part of a Lenten series on bell hooks' TEACHING COMMUNITY. You can find an index of posts here.

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The first thing to love about bell hooks is her passion for education. It bleeds through every page, trickles out of every word. It is her passion for pedagogy that leads her to write:

"There are certainly moments in the classroom where I do not excel in the art of teaching. However, it is crucial that we challenge any feeling of shame or embarrassment that teachers who do their job well might be tempted to indulge when praising ourselves or being praised by others for excellent teaching. For when we hide our light we collude in the overall cultural devaluation of our teaching vocation." (xi)

I know that, all too often, I am tempted to undercut the love and passion that I have for teaching and to undervalue what I do well in service to an idol of false humility and a (normally generative but sometimes destructive) self-critique.

LENT 2016 - TEACHING COMMUNITY - INDEX

I've been wanting to blog read a book during Lent, like I did last year with James Cone's CROSS AND THE LYNCHING TREE. Here's this year's choice:

bell hooks, TEACHING COMMUNITY: A PEDAGOGY OF HOPE.

Here's the reading schedule:

Friday, Feb. 12 - Preface

Tuesday, Feb. 16 – Teach 1 and 2

Friday, Feb. 19 – Teach 3

Tuesday, Feb. 23 – Teach 4

Friday, Feb. 26 – Teach 5

Tuesday, Mar. 1 – Teach 6

Friday, Mar. 4 – Teach 7 and 8

Tuesday, Mar. 8 – Teach 9

Friday, Mar. 11 – Teach 10 and 11

Tuesday, Mar. 15 – Teach 12

Friday, Mar. 18 – Teach 13 and 14

Tuesday, Mar. 22 – Teach 15

Friday, Mar. 25 – Teach 16

I've read select chapters from this book before and I am going to be engaging with some of hooks' writing for my dissertation. I have a feeling that this book is vital not just for me, but for our time. hooks is very readable, but that does not mean the reading will be easy. She continually challenges me. This is a good thing.

Join me!

A Week in the Hospital Part 8: Tuesday – Psalm 84

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

To see the previous post, click here.

***

(By a “programming fluke,” this psalm was sent to my e-mail instead of the scheduled Psalm 12)

How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O Lord of hosts!
My soul longs, indeed it faints
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
    my King and my God.
Happy are those who live in your house,
    ever singing your praise. (84:1-4)

Another round of doctor check-ins in the morning. All of them said I should go home.

A Week in the Hospital Day 7: Monday – Psalm 62

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

To see the previous post, click here.

***

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
    from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall never be shaken. (62:1-2)

The doctors all checked in on me. Everything was looking good. My blood pressure was elevated, but they hadn’t yet found bacteria in my blood—the surest sign of infection outside of the TEE. My white blood cell levels had barely ticked up, a possible sign, but nothing sure. Still, they wanted to treat me with a six-week course of antibiotics. Three hours a day for six weeks. They would have to insert a PICC line, a semi-permanent IV threaded through a vein in my arm with the tip almost touching my heart. There were risks, the doctors assured, though minimal. I was wary, since my body had already betrayed me once.

A Week in the Hospital Day 6: Sunday – Psalm 71:1-6

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

To see the previous post, click here.

***

For you, O Lord, are my hope,
    my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
Upon you I have leaned from my birth;
    it was you who took me from my mother’s womb.
My praise is continually of you. (71:5-6)

More visits from friends and pastoral counselors. In fact, I called for pastoral care.

It seems to me that most of life can be experienced in at least two ways. The first way encounters every moment as a potential threat. The second sees every moment as a potential gift. This is an oversimplification, of course. But I think most of us encounter life primarily in one of these two ways.

A Week in the Hospital Part 5: Saturday – Psalm 122

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.] 

To see the previous post, click here. 

***

For the sake of my relatives and friends
    I will say, “Peace be within you.” (122:8)

A day of recovery. I moved out of the ICU quickly. Sarah and the kids visited. A dear member of my church visited and assured me that they had everything in hand. Other church members and friends started stepping up to help Sarah. I talked to my family. The doctors and nurses watched me with wary eye. By the evening, I was already strong enough to walk to the bathroom on my own. My blood pressure was still high, but I was out of the danger zone. Though anxious, I still felt a small measure of peace. I was alive. I wanted—I still want—to stay alive.

***

To continue this series and see the next post, click here.

A Week in the Hospital Part 4: Friday – Psalm 88

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

To see the previous post, click here.

***

Every day I call on you, O Lord;
    I spread out my hands to you.
Do you work wonders for the dead?
    Do the shades rise up to praise you?
Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
    or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
Are your wonders known in the darkness,
    or your saving help in the land of forgetfulness?
But I, O Lord, cry out to you;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
O Lord, why do you cast me off?
    Why do you hide your face from me?
Wretched and close to death from my youth up,
    I suffer your terrors; I am desperate. 
Your wrath has swept over me;
    your dread assaults destroy me.
They surround me like a flood all day long;
    from all sides they close in on me.
You have caused friend and neighbor to shun me;
    my companions are in darkness. (88:9-18)

I have almost died several times in my life. I was born near death. I was a premature baby in a time when the odds for premature babies were much more grim. Despite being more than six weeks early, enduring significant time in an incubator, having surgery at 1 month old for peloric stenosis (a closing a the bottom of the stomach), battling pneumonia 4 times during my first year of life, suffering regular asthma attacks and several more severe pneumonia episodes during my elementary and teenage years—despite all of these near brushes with death, I had not yet died. Nevertheless, I have always been able to relate to this verse: ‘Wretched and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors.’

I almost died again on Friday morning.

A Week in the Hospital Part 3: Thursday – Psalm 143

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

To see the previous post, click here.

***

Answer me quickly, O Lord;
    my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me,
    or I shall be like those who go down to the Pit.
Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning,
    for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go,
    for to you I lift up my soul. (143:7-8)

When I woke in the morning, I was visited by a cardiologist. He was there to prepare me for the TEE. A simple procedure. He’d performed dozens over the last ten years. I wasn’t so sure. Why was I getting this done?

A Week in the Hospital Part 2: Wednesday – Psalm 65

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

To see the previous post, click here.

***

By awesome deeds you answer us with deliverance,
    O God of our salvation;
you are the hope of all the ends of the earth
    and of the farthest seas.
By your strength you established the mountains;
    you are girded with might.
You silence the roaring of the seas,
    the roaring of their waves,
    the tumult of the peoples. (65:5-7)

A primary care doctor visited me in the morning. So did a gastroenterologist (stomach doctor) and a pulmonologist (lung doctor). They took x-rays of my lungs—a little fluid, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome. They performed an ultrasound on my stomach—my hiatal hernia (a bulging stomach issue related to my ongoing problems with Gastro-Esophageal Reflux) was no larger than it had been when I they discovered it during middle school. My liver was burdened with a little fatty tissue, but nothing that losing 15 pounds couldn’t solve.

But my heart. Wait?! My heart? The primary care doctor heard a murmur, a little gallop on my heart. A tiny tumult. This could be caused by dehydration, or fighting the pneumonia infection, or a host of other things, the doctor said. But, just in case, let’s do a heart ultrasound. To be safe.

A Week in the Hospital Part 1: Tuesday – Psalm 54

Last week (January 26-February 2, 2016), I ended up in the hospital. Something simple spiraled out of control. While in the hospital, I kept up with the daily reading of psalms that I’ve been practicing since the first of the year. The psalms I read were chosen by the Presbyterian Daily Prayer Lectionary. The psalms are sent to my e-mail every morning and I often read them on my phone, then again in my bible. These psalms helped to frame my experience. The following is an account of my hospital stay for friends and family who want to know what happened. [NOTE: This contains some graphic depictions of medical problems. No pictures, just words.]

***

But surely, God is my helper;

    the Lord is the upholder of my life. (54:4)

The East Coast Blizzard of 2016 had ended. Our little family of four had been cooped up cozily from Friday through Monday. On the whole, we enjoyed our time together, though our snow-bonding was hindered a bit by a stomach bug that our one-year-old Matthijs had caught at school. By Monday evening, Matthijs seemed mostly better. It also appeared that the rest of us had escaped unscathed. 

Until Tuesday morning.